The Chicken Whisperer: 1st Guest Post

May 2005

March 26, 2004

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1st Guest Post

My Friend Derek is in a bitter mood and sends along this little quiz.

1) The passing of the The Unborn Victims of Violence Act in 2003 is proof:

A) that the republican party has given up all hope of reelecting Bush and is grabbing its last best chance at an abortion ban.
B) that people gamble (Vegas, baby) on elections and the republicans have a lot of money bet for Kerry.

C) of some sort of ancient curse that prevents a person names Bush from winning a re-election.

2) Kobe Bryant is guilty as:

A) hell
B) sin

C) f**k

3) John Kerry’s best choice (for the Republicans) of a running mate would be:

A) Hillary Clinton
B) Ralph Nader

C) Kobe Bryant

4) The Supreme Court’s hearing of the pledge of allegiance is:

A) vitally important to the security and stability of the country
B) a waste of freeking time

C) going to uphold the pledge because 98% of the country is for it

D) seems like cherry picking if its banned. How many Reps would like up to sponsor a constitutional amendment making the pledge legal –tons, that’s a slam dunk.

5) Bin Laden is:

A) on the loose and a serious threat to our country
B) in some safe hose in Pakistan getting the hell beat out of him by a CIA operative

C) a symbolic figurehead used politically to point out failures in ‘the other’ administration, thereby over inflating his importance.

6) Israel's efforts to fight terrorism are:

A) effective
B) justified

C) pointless because there is no way to deter religious zealots from hating *someone*

7) France found a bomb under a train track because:

A) it is more effective at counter terrorism
B) it was tipped off by terrorists because France is so nice to the rest of the world

C) blind a** luck that prevented a Madrid-style attack from happening

8) Martha Stewart is:

A) an horrible monster criminal that is stealing billions from the hard working people of the US

B) a ‘sorry about Enron’ conviction

C) guilty of what?!?!

9) Richard Clarke is saying what he is because he’s:

A) honest
B) bitter

C) trying to secure more book sales and a position in the Kerry administration

10) Alabama is in the Elite 8 because:

A) they’re the best team in the SEC
B) they paid the most in their sealed bid

C) just to piss Derek off. I had Stanford going to the finals, but nooooooo, UA’s just gotta beat them.

Add up your scores: 0 points for each A, 5 points for each B and 10 points for each C. Now compare your answers with the chart below:
0-25 pissed off by the current trends in the world
25-50 pissed off by the current trends in the world
50-75 pissed off by the current trends in the world
75-100 pissed off by the current trends in the world

My Answers: 1) C 2) A 3) B 4) C 5) None of the above since he's actually a series of molecules strewn across a cave in Tora Bora, though B does put a smile on my face thinking about an October surprise. 6) B 7) C, definately C 8) B 9) C 10) Not sure, but I bet Marty knows though I lean towards C. I mean Auburn fires it's coach and Alabama ends up in the Elite 8. It's got to be a conspiracy. And a damn funny one at that. Well, kind of funny. I also has Stanford going all the way. Why the hell didn't I pick UConn?

March 26, 2004 in Current Affairs | Permalink

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